This week's Tiny Car is a special one -- one of the Lesney edition releases from Matchbox. Why the fancy pants, you ask?
The May edition of Cleveland Family, Akron Family and Lake / Geauga Family magazines came out, and in it there is a cartoon picture of me and my family along with my first publish-for-pay column. I'm in the back, all the way in the back, and that's great. All the cool kids sit in the back of the bus.
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Digital Publishing with YUDU
Actually, besides this blog, I've been quiet about it, except for one moment of embarrassment, when today, picking up a copy at the store, I became childishly giddy and flagged down a random lady walking past me.
"Guess what? That's me! That's my column," I said.
The lady was confused. "No, it isn't."
"Yes it is."
Oh yes, random lady at the store, it is something, and even though I promise never to flag you down again to begin talking out of the blue, I'll give myself a break -- I was proud. Plus, I already feel stupid enough.
Speaking of random ladies, a few weeks ago I was at the grocery store and I almost bumped into a woman at a part of the store where the displays became narrow -- we did that you go, no you go thing, smiled, exchanged pleasantries, and went on our shopping ways. Here's the thing:
She was carrying two large melons, cantaloupes, I think, but exceptionally large ones, and she was holding them in front of her, palms up. Yes, she was holding them there.
Her expression, friendly and harried but not sassy, made it obvious she was not doing it to be funny, but you see my dilemma. This was the ultimate set-up for juvenile humor, a once-in-a-lifetime perfect chance for a totally organic nice melons joke. To not take this opportunity felt like a waste -- like I was stepping over a ten dollar bill on the sidewalk or throwing out a gift card to The Gap. If the world presents you with a chance for a nice melons joke, isn't it disrespectful to not use it?
Well, I hope not, because ultimately I kept my mouth shut, not only because it would have been rude, juvenile, and mildly vulgar and sexist, but also because I didn't want to appear like I was flirting or do something that my wife might have felt was inappropriate had she been there. After I left, however, I actually sighed, having passed on the one and only nice melons opportunity that has presented itself to me in my 49 years on this planet.
I hope the cosmos understands.
The great picture of my pink Lincoln taken by Phil Pekarcik. The image enhancements, by the way, include a blue sky picture taken at Cleveland's Edgewater Park with a view across the water of Lakewood, Ohio's Gold Coast.
The photo of the melons was borrowed from the 'Net, and even though it's a rather standard picture of cantaloupes, I want to give credit, anyway. I borrowed it from one of the most fun websites to browse with slightly older kids, HowStuffWorks.com. Go on, learn about muskmelons: